i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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