yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
