i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
