You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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