my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
