Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
