I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is her dick bigger than yours?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize