She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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