I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
