You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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