well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
