Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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