I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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