definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
