No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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