i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
