I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
