I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
