Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
