ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
