how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
