A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Dignity is for republicans.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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