apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
