can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
