just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
