oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
