Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
