come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
