I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
