I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
