this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
