Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
