You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
