so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I need help removing her.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
