still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
