butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
The ass gains better be worth it
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