NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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