I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
