GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
