i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
