my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
