if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
