I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Houston, we have a squirter
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
