is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
