ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
