drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
