I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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