you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
