Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
