so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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