sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
