their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
