I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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