he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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