NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
